Blue Animal Literature
  • Home
  • Submit
  • About
  • Read

READ. COMMENT. ENJOY.

October 2019 Winners - First Place

11/3/2019

1 Comment

 

"A Horse Walks into a Bar" by Charlotte Harker

A horse walks into a bar. 

The barman did not say, "Why the long face?' 

Before the barman could proceed the horse explained,  'I am a horse. I have a long face. I am a grazing animal and evolved in open grassland. With a small stomach and a diet high in forage, I spend a large amount of time eating with my head down at ground level. Having a long face places my range of vision, in this position, at a level which allows for greater awareness of my surroundings. This is important as I am a prey animal and my primary defence is running away. That's evolution for you. Happy now?' 

The horse ordered drinks, 'Bacardi and coke with ice and a straw. An orange juice for my rider.' 

The barman served the drinks and turned to the horse for payment, since the horse seemed to be doing all the talking. 

The horse said, 'My rider is paying, you idiot. I am a horse. I don't have any money. 

The rider paid the barman. 

They finished their drinks and the horse turned to leave, banging its head on a low beam. The horse was drunk and not concentrating. The rider ducked beneath the beam as they made for the exit. 

Outside they passed a queue of assorted fauna. A swan was at the front, followed by a cat, a bear, a squirrel, an otter and so on down the line. Each was clutching typed scripts in whatever means of clutching evolution had deemed appropriate, beak, paw, pouch, for example. 

A sign read, 
Today. Auditions for replacements or variations on 'A Horse Walks into a Bar.’

'I thought that went quite well' said the horse. The rider nodded in agreement.
1 Comment

October 2019 Winners - Second Place

11/3/2019

2 Comments

 

"No-one" by Chris Tattersall

 
His wife was comforted by friends and family as he lifted their daughter. It was the smallest of coffins but weighed so heavy on his shoulders, yet no one realized the effort it took him. 

He was masculine, dependable, strong. Weak in no one’s eyes, he was a man’s man and undoubtedly a hunter-gatherer in a previous life.

He had no recollection of the last time he had cried and in this dire situation tears still eluded him. He couldn’t summon a reaction despite feeling so desperate he would willingly give his life to change the recent
past. No one saw his pain.

Time off on compassionate leave was killing him. His vocation as a Police officer had informed him of life’s possible battles but this was personal for which no training or experience could prepare him, yet no one considered the possibility that he couldn’t cope. He was a rock for his wife, her friends, his parents, seemingly everyone. He soothed their tears, served them with sympathy and gave them strength by proxy.
​
"Your poor wife, is she ok?"
​
"It must be so hard for her, give her our love."

No one offered him solace.

After the mourners had left and the nursery door closed, their future lacking in life was adjusted to. Time slowly dragged itself forward.

Like an excited child showing off her latest toy she rushed out of the bathroom clutching the white stick. Proudly she presented him with it, its window displaying a thin blue line. He put a strong arm around his wife and kissed the top of her head. He showed her nothing but joy.

Turning away, his heart sank, he didn’t want to risk any more pain.

A tear came to his eye but no one noticed.
2 Comments

October 2019 Winners - Third Place

11/3/2019

0 Comments

 

"The Buzz Around London" by Laura Stubbs

Smoke! Burnt toast as a healthy accompaniment to fried green tomatoes and boiled eggs? I’m reassured by the elderly woman hovering next to the fire alarm that it is not a toast disaster but in fact wanted charcoal that helps cleanse her body. I want to stick to the belief that the smell of her burnt toast is exposing me to more pollution than a busy intersection. But at age 80 and with drooping jowls she can still find her way around the YHA kitchen, so maybe BBQing your toast has some impressive health benefits?

The other hostel guests are excited over photographs of their bright and insanely healthy looking acacia breakfast bowls. Superfoods come with a generational buzz in London - teenagers eat mouthfuls of immune-boosting berries and grannies bake, fry and roast toast until it looks like death itself.

My age is hidden somewhere between 18 and 80 and my morning cup of coffee is also hiding somewhere in-between what some say is healthy and what others simply call a bad habit. Like oxygen, I need to breathe the all-natural liquid through my lungs and down into an irritable bowel that energetically pumps life, and movements, back into every part of me. But is coffee really any good for you or just another fashionable addiction? Evidence shows, just like berries it is full of antioxidants which may help you stay young. Another study has linked coffee to a reduced risk of Alzheimers, and a lower risk of burning your toast.

​I take a little more coffee then energetically step outside into the cool brisk English morning. What’s that in the bushes? New research has found that drinking coffee may improve eyesight and I have just spotted two slices of cancerous black toast tossed into the garden!
0 Comments

    Authors

    November 2020
    Louis Rossi
    Elizabeth Spencer Spragins
    Theresa Richardson 


    October 2020
    Darcy Isla
    Irene May Pearce
    Scott Steensma 

    Septemer 2020
    Brendan Thomas
    Melanie Roussel
    Kailey Blount

    August 2020
    Stefan Harich
    Livia Kovacs
    Shelbie Kellum

    July 2020
    Zach Murphy
    Melissa Taggart
    Miri Aung
    ​
    June 2020
    Jennifer Vandenberg
    Ryan Diaz
    Alan Kennedy

    May 2020
    Leslie Ann Truchet
    Ashique Ali
    Brandt Scheidmantel

    April 2020
    Cliodhna Russell
    Michael Conklin
    Jaz Hurford

    March 2020
    Zoe Biggs
    Lucy Brighton
    Maggie Elliot

    February 2020
    ​Hawon Koo
    Simon Darvell
    Leah Baxter

    January 2020
    Roshna Rusiniya
    Frank Melling
    Brendan Thomas

    December 2019
    Jay Adams
    Isaac Alexis
    Chloe Casey

    November 2019
    Mark Anthony Smith
    Brendan Thomas
    Jacqueline Harrett

    Octber 2019
    Charlotte Harker
    Chris Tattersall
    ​Laura Stubbs


    September 2019
    Madeleine Pelletier
    Brendan Thomas
    ​Tom Morgan

    August 2019
    David Lloyd​
    Daria Campbell
    Matthew Shepherd

    July 2019
    Clinton Myers
    Matthew Harris
    Eszter Coombs


    June 2019
    Susi J Smith
    Lou F.
    Hana Shibazaki

    Archives

    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Submit
  • About
  • Read