"Protocols" by Frank MellingPlanet Earth was not the best possible posting for a young diplomat but members of the Pan Galactic Grand Council Observer Corps had to start their careers somewhere. There were benefits too, and ones which weren’t mentioned during any of the pre-mission briefings. For example, although strictly speaking Arthrid 4 was asexual, in his human form he did enjoy holding the hand of Groted 15 whom, he thought, looked rather fetching in her figure flattering, floral dress.
They walked along the river bank enjoying the soft, warm scents carried by the merest hint of breeze on what was a truly idyllic, late English summer evening. They listened to the calls of children playing in the meadow to the soft murmurs of lovers in love and the barking of excited dogs chasing balls. Their pleasure was interrupted by raucous yells of what, in earth language, could only be described as yobs. There were five young men, recklessly charging paddle boards into each other and then running through the infants playing on the little sandy beach, causing the little ones - and their parents - much distress. Arthid 4 looked at Groted 15 who said: “Remember the protocols. No interventions for any reason.” They exchanged another excessively long, lingering gaze which anyone observing would have read as the clear precursor to a romantic evening ahead. “Well, just be careful. Otherwise we’ll both be back at base before we know it.” When the young men insisted that they had seen a three horned, red tongued, scaly headed monster shoot beams of purple light at them, the Custody Sergeant at Brinton Police Station added the charge of using some, as yet unidentified, illegal substance to that of endangering the public by setting their paddle boards on fire.
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