"A Horse Walks into a Bar" by Charlotte HarkerA horse walks into a bar.
The barman did not say, "Why the long face?' Before the barman could proceed the horse explained, 'I am a horse. I have a long face. I am a grazing animal and evolved in open grassland. With a small stomach and a diet high in forage, I spend a large amount of time eating with my head down at ground level. Having a long face places my range of vision, in this position, at a level which allows for greater awareness of my surroundings. This is important as I am a prey animal and my primary defence is running away. That's evolution for you. Happy now?' The horse ordered drinks, 'Bacardi and coke with ice and a straw. An orange juice for my rider.' The barman served the drinks and turned to the horse for payment, since the horse seemed to be doing all the talking. The horse said, 'My rider is paying, you idiot. I am a horse. I don't have any money. The rider paid the barman. They finished their drinks and the horse turned to leave, banging its head on a low beam. The horse was drunk and not concentrating. The rider ducked beneath the beam as they made for the exit. Outside they passed a queue of assorted fauna. A swan was at the front, followed by a cat, a bear, a squirrel, an otter and so on down the line. Each was clutching typed scripts in whatever means of clutching evolution had deemed appropriate, beak, paw, pouch, for example. A sign read, Today. Auditions for replacements or variations on 'A Horse Walks into a Bar.’ 'I thought that went quite well' said the horse. The rider nodded in agreement.
1 Comment
Will Bonney
12/2/2019 02:06:53 am
I enjoyed the story but expected more. What did I expect? Tension, resolution and change, I guess. I enjoyed it. Thanks.
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